Do Not Make Assumptions

The Danger of Assumptions by Bria Simpson

Don Miguel Ruiz, who studies ancient Toltec wisdom, wrote an amazing book, The Four Agreements. In it, he discusses the important agreements, or codes of conduct, we need to follow in order to live peacefully.

His third agreement is "Don't Make Assumptions". Humans have a tendency to make assumptions. The overwhelming problem with assumptions is that we BELIEVE them to be TRUE. We literally imagine what others are thinking, and because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we pretend that our assumptions are truth. Then, we defend our assumptions and create a mess.

The way out of this mess is to ASK. Ask for clarification. Pick up the phone and say, "I am sensing this - is this how you really feel?" And then listen until you understand what they are feeling and can share your own truth as well.

To give you a business example (and trust me, I have plenty of personal examples too!) - my intuition has been encouraging me to change my live retreats to virtual (phone) ones. I've had such good success with private, virtual retreats, and it's a less expensive and easier investment for both my clients and myself.

For weeks I felt stuck. My gut was saying, "make the switch", but my fear and assumptions were saying, "what if I disappoint the moms who've signed up for the live retreat?" "I don't want to upset people" and so on.

It wasn't until I challenged my assumptions, called the moms who have signed up, and learned that 95% were HAPPY about the change, that I realized my assumptions were holding me back. It turns out that they want to figure out their career path sooner, like that they don't have to travel, appreciate the lower overall investment, and are happy about getting more one-on-one coaching time with me.

The wisdom of our personal lives often extends to our business lives as well. Had I continued to make assumptions, I would have been holding myself AND my clients back.

Next time you are struggling in your mind with others - ask questions. Ask until you are clear with how they really feel, and you clarify how you really feel. In this place, you no longer need to make assumptions because you will know the truth.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bria Simpson is the the Balanced Mom Coach, helping moms find or create the right job with the right balance. She is the author of The Balanced Mom and creator of virtual back-to-work retreats. Visit www.TheBalancedMomCoach.com for more information.

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